Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
