she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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