Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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