I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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