We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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