This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
