moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
