I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
