Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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