Swine flu. Run for my life!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If I die, sorry about rent.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
