You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
