I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
