I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize