Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.

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  (845): oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call. http://tfl.nu/l86s
  Replies (13) Good night (783) Bad night (2441)
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  (949): View more from California

  okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?

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  (949): okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong? http://tfl.nu/d7ju
  Replies (48) Good night (1879) Bad night (4804)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

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  (201): I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work http://tfl.nu/3682
  Replies (16) Good night (3413) Bad night (1150)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again

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  (610): ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again http://tfl.nu/ywr6
  Replies (11) Good night (4268) Bad night (790)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.

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  (651): I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister. http://tfl.nu/ezh5
  Replies (9) Good night (6808) Bad night (1170)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.

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  (604): the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/g0q9
  Replies (2) Good night (2770) Bad night (830)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dangr zzzzzzzzone

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  (610): Dangr zzzzzzzzone http://tfl.nu/qvjb
  Replies (8) Good night (2118) Bad night (815)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.

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  (308): Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick. http://tfl.nu/8mtk
  Replies (12) Good night (3472) Bad night (902)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.

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  (740): Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina. http://tfl.nu/wkh7
  Replies (13) Good night (1054) Bad night (2144)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.

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  (254): By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook. http://tfl.nu/9v3n
  Replies (8) Good night (2076) Bad night (645)
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  (707): View more from California

  you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?

  (1-707): View more from California

  yeah, you wanna come?

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  (707): you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store? (1-707): yeah, you wanna come? http://tfl.nu/465p
  Replies (9) Good night (1783) Bad night (719)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.

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  (908): I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon. http://tfl.nu/vwke
  Replies (13) Good night (1907) Bad night (615)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Score one for dad.

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  (541): Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job. (503): Score one for dad. http://tfl.nu/kgah
  Replies (6) Good night (2180) Bad night (559)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.

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  (636): I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more. http://tfl.nu/a679
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (202)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.

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  (847): Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager. http://tfl.nu/eykt
  Replies (0) Good night (356) Bad night (278)

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