I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like