Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets? http://tfl.nu/drj5
  Replies (23) Good night (2493) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help. http://tfl.nu/hn4q
  Replies (4) Good night (3042) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms http://tfl.nu/8b7n
  Replies (24) Good night (3112) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire http://tfl.nu/o1m1
  Replies (17) Good night (750) Bad night (5212)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa http://tfl.nu/lg9x
  Replies (33) Good night (7572) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok http://tfl.nu/3owz
  Replies (9) Good night (2537) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over. http://tfl.nu/igug
  Replies (4) Good night (1843) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes http://tfl.nu/hymj
  Replies (8) Good night (606) Bad night (1904)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel. http://tfl.nu/cy7e
  Replies (18) Good night (1203) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening? http://tfl.nu/i8s4
  Replies (8) Good night (1094) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler. http://tfl.nu/dd1c
  Replies (9) Good night (303) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like. http://tfl.nu/0urz
  Replies (1) Good night (481) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to http://tfl.nu/22xn
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/j7wr
  Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool http://tfl.nu/u20j
  Replies (6) Good night (613) Bad night (212)

Randomize