your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics