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ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
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