Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross

  (647): View more from Ontario

  well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun

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  (416): dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross (647): well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun http://tfl.nu/i4zj
  Replies (12) Good night (891) Bad night (3615)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina

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  (920): The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina http://tfl.nu/dlly
  Replies (28) Good night (1341) Bad night (3748)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.

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  (440): i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me. http://tfl.nu/ypbg
  Replies (38) Good night (619) Bad night (5631)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it

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  (910): after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it http://tfl.nu/b99n
  Replies (48) Good night (2862) Bad night (6126)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

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  (727): I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights. http://tfl.nu/lg7e
  Replies (26) Good night (1066) Bad night (10357)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea

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  (423): Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea http://tfl.nu/mhka
  Replies (17) Good night (1028) Bad night (2975)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens

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  (606): Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens http://tfl.nu/90cr
  Replies (9) Good night (3774) Bad night (1039)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.

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  (913): He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman. http://tfl.nu/kv33
  Replies (7) Good night (819) Bad night (1617)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.

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  (740): Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dou8
  Replies (8) Good night (1374) Bad night (543)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.

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  (+61): It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls. http://tfl.nu/jcbb
  Replies (1) Good night (1178) Bad night (526)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?

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  (502): Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work? http://tfl.nu/ejxj
  Replies (8) Good night (896) Bad night (602)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer

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  (615): The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer http://tfl.nu/n78o
  Replies (2) Good night (906) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Okay we're getting vodka and coming

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt

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  (513): Okay we're getting vodka and coming (1-513): Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt http://tfl.nu/g69k
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair

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  (61): Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair http://tfl.nu/j3o5
  Replies (7) Good night (558) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.

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  (405): Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again. http://tfl.nu/vkin
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (482)

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