Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

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  (978): i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened http://tfl.nu/l318
  Replies (23) Good night (1060) Bad night (7217)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!

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  (763): that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her! http://tfl.nu/ypk8
  Replies (48) Good night (4644) Bad night (538)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined

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  (301): I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined http://tfl.nu/iip9
  Replies (19) Good night (914) Bad night (3156)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.

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  (216): As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks. http://tfl.nu/d4mm
  Replies (14) Good night (1160) Bad night (4318)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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  (318): I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter. http://tfl.nu/35y3
  Replies (11) Good night (3921) Bad night (940)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.

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  (260): just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead. http://tfl.nu/smv5
  Replies (20) Good night (3448) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.

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  (316): Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out. http://tfl.nu/ipe4
  Replies (6) Good night (1454) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head

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  (619): Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head http://tfl.nu/u456
  Replies (3) Good night (1305) Bad night (670)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...

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  (217): If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out... http://tfl.nu/9czx
  Replies (1) Good night (1127) Bad night (609)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he was once again the drunkest girl at the party

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  (610): he was once again the drunkest girl at the party http://tfl.nu/18ag
  Replies (5) Good night (2104) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.

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  (+61): I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit. http://tfl.nu/qiro
  Replies (2) Good night (1117) Bad night (227)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly

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  (443): Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly (443): Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly http://tfl.nu/ja6d
  Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice

  (623): View more from Arizona

  You suck, She hit so hard.

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  (602): I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice (623): You suck, She hit so hard. http://tfl.nu/fozp
  Replies (0) Good night (314) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?

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  (508): How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster? http://tfl.nu/rbos
  Replies (1) Good night (251) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Talking to him sober hurts my brain

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  (425): Talking to him sober hurts my brain http://tfl.nu/d5oz
  Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (297)

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