So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
