I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
