Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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