I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Are my feet made of real feet?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
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They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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