I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
