Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
