You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize