Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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