Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All the doctor said was why
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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