The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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