Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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