Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
