you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize