remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
