I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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