I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize