After last night, I could never be a politician.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
