I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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