So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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