There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
