Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
