Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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