Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
