Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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