No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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