I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
