some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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