Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
