I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize