Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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