Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize