I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
