Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
