I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
they're like a gay fantastic four
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
