just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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