Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
