my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
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It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.