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• (510): View more from California

  I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.

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• (585): View more from New York

  i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't answer my phone I'm at work

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.

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