Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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