Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I'm drive I can fine osifer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I'm drive I can fine osifer http://tfl.nu/zjuj
  Replies (28) Good night (1376) Bad night (2111)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient. http://tfl.nu/pars
  Replies (10) Good night (574) Bad night (2196)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea? http://tfl.nu/q7z7
  Replies (44) Good night (3744) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music http://tfl.nu/f2pv
  Replies (49) Good night (18026) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined. http://tfl.nu/ti88
  Replies (8) Good night (1164) Bad night (5317)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub. http://tfl.nu/cojk
  Replies (7) Good night (6093) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities http://tfl.nu/pt4w
  Replies (10) Good night (2472) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him http://tfl.nu/40tq
  Replies (8) Good night (1571) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Sex on roller skates

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Floating mattress

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Sex on roller skates (202): Floating mattress (301): Tie http://tfl.nu/1xsm
  Replies (7) Good night (1766) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  What if our hands were octopus tentacles?

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  You're an idiot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): What if our hands were octopus tentacles? (1-662): You're an idiot. http://tfl.nu/2n3l
  Replies (17) Good night (2254) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out http://tfl.nu/cs49
  Replies (7) Good night (1325) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him. (785): Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!" http://tfl.nu/v4v8
  Replies (4) Good night (989) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days. http://tfl.nu/cbkv
  Replies (7) Good night (437) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember. http://tfl.nu/qd7b
  Replies (0) Good night (626) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  and SLEEP god I love sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal. (440): and SLEEP god I love sleep http://tfl.nu/p4ha
  Replies (0) Good night (993) Bad night (205)

Randomize