I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So much Jack, so little girl.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.