Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.

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(443): View more from Maryland

no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work

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(972): View more from Texas

Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.

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(979): View more from Texas

I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him

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(907): View more from Alaska

I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.

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