Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer

  (678): View more from Georgia

  you spelled her name wrong

  (404): View more from Georgia

  not you too!!

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  (404): I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer (678): you spelled her name wrong (404): not you too!! http://tfl.nu/woxr
  Replies (49) Good night (1685) Bad night (4642)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.

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  (770): separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles. http://tfl.nu/p09d
  Replies (36) Good night (6404) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Tell me the dirtiest joke you know

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  Sarah Palin

  (907): View more from Alaska

  god, I love you

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  (907): Tell me the dirtiest joke you know (1-907): Sarah Palin (907): god, I love you http://tfl.nu/fmd4
  Replies (101) Good night (10719) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes

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  (718): you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes http://tfl.nu/46zk
  Replies (9) Good night (769) Bad night (2811)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.

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  (978): his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave. http://tfl.nu/6huv
  Replies (13) Good night (5609) Bad night (1316)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.

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  (214): I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room. http://tfl.nu/9wgv
  Replies (7) Good night (4392) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.

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  (603): And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol. http://tfl.nu/g84x
  Replies (3) Good night (1028) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.

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  (270): I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde. http://tfl.nu/pj3w
  Replies (6) Good night (1178) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO

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  (619): THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO http://tfl.nu/tlry
  Replies (6) Good night (523) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.

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  (336): I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012. http://tfl.nu/82uc
  Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.

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  (705): I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/bmha
  Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.

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  (636): On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013. http://tfl.nu/kcos
  Replies (6) Good night (1174) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.

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  (850): You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/k8oo
  Replies (2) Good night (1412) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy

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  (763): I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy http://tfl.nu/fuzq
  Replies (2) Good night (1087) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.

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  (478): So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando. http://tfl.nu/7jrk
  Replies (6) Good night (1021) Bad night (470)

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