Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom. http://tfl.nu/7aa5
  Replies (65) Good night (6471) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/9esh
  Replies (58) Good night (834) Bad night (11570)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control. http://tfl.nu/aw3o
  Replies (36) Good night (6351) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity. http://tfl.nu/izk8
  Replies (66) Good night (627) Bad night (4768)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow. You named your rash.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch. (717): Wow. You named your rash. http://tfl.nu/cxl6
  Replies (22) Good night (865) Bad night (4018)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice. http://tfl.nu/jk56
  Replies (29) Good night (5873) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex. http://tfl.nu/07s4
  Replies (9) Good night (3575) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  succeeding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives? (910): succeeding http://tfl.nu/avwv
  Replies (10) Good night (5298) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread. http://tfl.nu/qy40
  Replies (35) Good night (1953) Bad night (8708)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): All I need in life is some dick and a big mac. http://tfl.nu/2v25
  Replies (65) Good night (6516) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college. http://tfl.nu/3hcf
  Replies (19) Good night (2645) Bad night (6121)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  "Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Nope, his last birthday was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): "Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right? (770): Nope, his last birthday was. http://tfl.nu/dk94
  Replies (5) Good night (2100) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now." http://tfl.nu/g734
  Replies (6) Good night (1728) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!" http://tfl.nu/jxqn
  Replies (3) Good night (908) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift http://tfl.nu/may0
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (295)

Randomize