Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
