we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
